March 23, 2021
Peter Fitzwell, NAMBLA
Deputy Director, CIA BlackmAil™ Operations

The following memo is FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY. After our successful microchip implantation campaign of 2017 for all employees, we will know if any of you fuckers even think about leaking this to the American public.

Thanks to our internal teams, our associates at the Mossad, OpenAI, Palantir, and independent contractors, I am pleased to announce the rolling out of our newest tool, BlackmAil™, which is set to revolutionize federal lawmaking and global politics. We are no longer living in the Stone Age, where we had to kidnap children from impoverished nations (Class 1 Kompromat, low-level targets) or American families (Class 2 Kompromat, high-level targets), ship them to our islands and penthouses, and display them buffet-style for our subjectss to molest on camera to protect the interests of our most vital private partners across the technology, defense, petroleum, pharmaceutical, and banking industries.

The Pizzagate folks almost caught on, but thanks to the efforts from our PR team, we were able to label them as nutjob conspiracy theorists through our media partners. The hiccup with Jeff was a bit of a setback, but fortunately our BlackmAil™ had been in development for years by that point with successful beta testing. Another shoutout to the PR team and our media partners, who allowed just enough leeway for people to think Jeff was murdered (Can you believe those retards even think he’s dead in the first place? I mean the body double doesn’t even look like him).

A paradigm shift for our operations, BlackmAil™ will be much cleaner, quicker, and easier than previously imagined. With a few clicks of a mouse, we can generate UHD video of anybody getting sucked off by a child or fondling the genitals of a supple teen. As an added benefit and insurance policy, this rollout comes with assurances from the DOJ that our generated videos will be considered admissible evidence in all criminal courts. Our math nerds (by the way, Henry from accounting is such a dweeb that even our AI abducted 8 year old rejected him during test runs) estimate a 90% cost savings, which will be redirected to our Foreign Government Intervention Ventures (ForGIVe™) program or other black budget operations at the discretion of Emperor Reptilius XIV.

This update is not without controversy, however. We have faced strong opposition from the leadership of the child sex trafficking transportation union, more commonly called the Teensters. Along with other middle men, they have expressed deep concern that this will drastically reduce their revenue. As if we even care about union workers and American jobs, am I right? Yeah, I’m sure some of the kids will miss the fun trips too, but we’re trying to run a globalist world order here, not give handouts to non-billionaires. Grow up and learn to code, faggots.

In addition to cost-savings, this advancement will also help tie up loose ends latched onto by internet investigators outside of our controlled opposition network. Over the last few years, online rumors have been gaining traction that we are some sort of Satanic pedophile cult. Don’t get me wrong; we absolutely are a Satanic pedophile cult, but it’s pretty fucking annoying when people make throwing around these accusations. We are just trying to shed that negative image. But don’t worry; this will not affect normal office operations. Pre-quinceañera Honduran snizz and fresh pubescent Ethiopian bussy will still be available in the break room on the third underground floor Monday through Friday. Please place 1,000kg of carbon offset tokens in the deposit box using the honor system.

For our field agents, here is a typical scenario involving a senator:

Agent: We noticed you pushed back on that arms sale to Israel. We’ll need that to pass through the Senate, and we have video of you buttfucking a 12 year old boy at the Aspen lodge. It’d be a real shame if there was a mass shooting in your state, or your wife gets gangraped while visiting an uncontacted Amazonian tribe, or someone gets hold of that video.

Senator: What? I’ve never been to Colorado, and I don’t even like skiing. You have no such video.

Agent: Here’s the thing; yes we do, and you’re going to vote accordingly.

See how easy that was? And we can get that done in a matter of seconds, not weeks. And we even saved a few kids in the process for what that’s worth. Because at heart, we’re good people, and everything we do is for the greater good. So go on out there, close some deals, and let’s make the world a better and safer place. At least, of course, until the underground nuclear bunker city (projected 2028) and Europa colony and transport (proj. 2078) are completed.