I’ve been sitting on this for a while now, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because the picture makes the chicken look dry or because ultimately nothing matters in this world. But most likely because I’m a lazy piece of shit. I made lemon dill chicken with a side of a Mediterranean quinoa salad, which I’ll just call quinoa bullshit for this article. Not because it wasn’t good, in fact, the quinoa bullshit is very easy to make and is a great healthy recipe for a lunch or dinner. Google searches for the Mediterranean diet are probably through the roof with the new year just passing, so it’s as good a time as ever to share what Danny made.

Foodies will get mad at a baked chicken breast for all sorts of reasons. They’ll call me a basic bitch. They need to grow up. Chicken breasts are high in protein and low in fat, and most self-described foodies could probably do their bodies a favor with healthier options. I get it; you want crispy fried pork belly and melted cheese and candy-coated cronuts. Sorry if I’m just trying to save lives here.

I started with chicken breast marinated in lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, pepper, olive oil, and chopped dill. Before baking, I had the genius idea of laying down sliced lemon and oregano sprigs to impart some extra flavor and moisture and prevent the bottoms from overcooking. In hindsight, the rind of the lemon slice gave off a slightly bitter taste from the pith, so I might avoid this next time. But that’s the beauty of cooking. Experimentation and adjustment. The chicken came out a tad dry, but not too bad. And the dill on top looked uneven and a bit unappetizing. But just close your eyes and pretend it’s a girl. Er… I mean… pretend it looks tasty. It could have used an accompanying sauce, but I’m too stupid and lazy to think one up and then make it.

Moving on the quinoa bullshit. As I mentioned, this is an easy, healthy, colorful recipe to bring to a potluck dinner if you had any friends. Start be making quinoa either according to the package directions or like someone who at least wants it to taste good. So instead of just water and salt, start by sautéing a medium white onion in olive oil and butter until translucent and slightly caramelized. Then add chicken or vegetable broth and bring to a boil. Now you can add the quinoa and cook according to the package directions.

While the quinoa is cooking for about 15 minutes, prepare the other ingredients. Get creative here and add whatever you want. I sliced kalamata olives, diced a red pepper, quartered some cucumber and tomatoes, emptied a can of chickpeas, crumbled some feta, and chopped some dill and mint. You could also add red onion if you wanted. Once the quinoa is done cooking, transfer into a large bowl to cool, then add the other ingredients with some salt, pepper, olive oil, and red wine vinegar. Once you mix the quinoa, taste for flavor and seasoning. It may need some extra oil or vinegar, but you do you queen. Be imaginative, add other vegetables and flavors. Add Reese’s Pieces for all I care. Good luck on your new diet, and I’ll see you at the Wend’s drive thru soon enough.

Do you have a favorite food you want me to make? Please provide suggestions below or contact me here.