Info: 28 South Etna Ave, Montauk, NY 11954 – www.jonismontauk.com

I recently visited Montauk for the first time and enjoyed the town very much. It was late in the summer after most of the crowds died down, but I was expecting the town to be busier. I was pleasantly surprised at the quaintness of the town and beaches. Aromas of saltwater and waspiness permeated the air. I did some culinary research the night we arrived, and biked to Goldberg’s Famous Bagels the following morning. I rode up and down the city center for a bit, exploring the town, and noticed dozens of people spilling out of a coffee shop and onto the sidewalk under colorful umbrellas. I looked up Joni’s once I got back to the hotel to see what all the fuss was about.

I liked what I saw on the menu, and I liked that other people appeared to like it also, so I decided to go the next day for lunch. With a large menu compared to the size of the restaurant, Joni’s serves breakfast, lunch, coffee, juices, and smoothies. Unsurprisingly, the interior was beach-themed, with books, surfboards, and sunny wallpapers. Joni’s was oozing potential, so let’s see how they did. As always, I will be giving the good shit, the nit pick, and a verdict with a 1-5 Plop rating.

The Wrap:

Curry Up! [curried chicken salad made with pineapple and mango chutney, served with greens, wrapped in a curry tortilla] – $12.95

• The Good Shit: Every element of this wrap was delicious. The curried chicken salad was fantastic on its own, but large chinks of pineapple added sweetness and extra flavor. The curry tortilla had a subtle curry taste and some grill marks to add a little char. And this thing was filled to the brim. My fat ass is almost never satiated by a single wrap, but Joni’s loaded it with chicken salad, and I was very appreciative of that. So you will definitely get your daddy’s credit card’s money’s worth with this wrap.
• The Nit Pick: A few nit picks here. The side of greens felt out of place. It was a few pieces of spring mix with shredded carrots, undressed, sitting in the corner of the container. I understand that they do a lot of takeout business, and dressing the greens could leak or, even worse, cross-contaminate the wrap with vinaigrette. But I powered through and ate them dry. Secondly, because the wrap was so full of chicken salad, it was a bit dense and texturally monotonous. Some shredded iceberg lettuce or pickled carrots could have complemented and broken up the texture. But with that said, the flavors were more than enough to make up for shortcomings in texture.

The Smoothie:

Get Naked [raw coconut water w/ hemp, maca, cacao, bananas & blueberries] – $9.95

• The Good Shit: Full disclosure, I returned the next day after my chicken wrap to get a smoothie, so this was a separate sitting. I was initially hesitant to order the Get Naked, as the last time I was ordered to get naked, my nickname became Danny Clamstrip for the rest of high school and college. Nevertheless, I persisted and got my smoothie. Bananas and cacao happens to be my favorite food combination, so this hit the spot. The cacao flavor was very prominent, the hemp and maca added some nuttiness, and the coconut water and blueberries provided subtle sweetness and a smug sense that their electrolytes and antioxidants are canceling out the 6 White Claws you had the night prior. I knew I was going to like this, and I was not disappointed.
• The Nit Pick: The smoothie was a tad too thin. I think more banana or perhaps a frozen banana would have thickened this to my liking. It was still thicker than a juice but was lacking that last bit of viscosity that really would have put this over the top.

The Verdict:

I highly recommend Joni’s if you ever find yourself in Montauk. From the beachy vibes to the outdoor tables in the late summer to the great food and drink, everything just worked together. The service was a bit slow, but it was the lunch hour on a Saturday, so that can be excused. I know I promised to use these sparingly, but Joni’s earns a full 5 Plops.