Info: 117 N Coastal Way, Jupiter, FL 33477 – www.managreekfusion.com

For my first official review, we will explore Mana Greek Fusion, located in Jupiter’s Harbourside Place. Like a complete dope, I forgot to take pictures, so forgive me. With an unassuming exterior and fairly small interior, Mana boasts a faux-Mediterranean decor of fake brick wallpaper with fake plants drooping from wall-mounted fake terra cotta pots. It didn’t transport me to a Greek island, but I also didn’t ask it to. Ultimately, the decor is inoffensive and somewhat charming.

The most fortunate occurrence of the evening was being seated before a 25-top arrived for god knows what. Maybe a birthday, engagement party, rehearsal dinner, I don’t care. The point is what the fuck are these people celebrating in 2023? Our geriatric congressional sock puppets are sleepwalking us into a two-front nuclear war when they’re not too busy dying, and these 25 lunatics have either the ignorance or the audacity to be having a good time surrounded by loved ones.

But I was there, and you are here, for the food, so the food we will discuss. At DannySnarfs, the food review division of DannyPlops, I will sample one or multiple menu items from a restaurant or food vendor. I will then tell you the good shit and a nit pick about each item and rate the establishment on a scale of 1 to 5 Plops.

To Start:

Feta Cheese Spread [Roasted red peppers, yogurt, saffron, jalapeño, EVOO, served with pita] – $8

• The Good Shit: This whipped feta spread was creamy and smoky, with a very generous portion of dip for the price (more on this later). The pita was steaming hot with some crisp around the edges. The feta dip certainly got the meal off to a good start.
• The Nit Pick: While flavorful, feta was still wanting some extra zip. I think a little extra jalapeño heat or the acidity of some lemon juice could have brought more excitement or added an extra dimension to the dish.

Stuffed Grape Leaves [Rice, dill, mint, fresh herbs. Hot with avgolemono sauce] – $12

• The Good Shit: These 4 grape leaves were served hot with avgolemono sauce, which was a nice change of pace from the cold dolmades that I’ve typically eaten. The avgolemono sauce was the star of the dish with its strong lemon flavor, but the grape leaves were perfectly flavorful on their own.
• The Nit Pick: My only nit pick here is that the stuffed grape leaves were more grape leaf than stuff. I can’t blame them in this economy, but I would have liked a little more filling.

Main Course:

Mana Platter (Chicken) [Served with house salad, rice, lemon potatoes, pita bread, tzatziki] – $28

• The Good Shit: $28 may seem steep for chicken kebabs with some side dishes, but returning to my aside in the whipped feta discussion, the portion sizes were ginormous, making this well worth the price. If you’re not a gluttonous piece of shit like I am, you could easily take some home and have leftovers for lunch the next day. The chicken was seasoned and cooked perfectly, the salad was dressed well, and the rice and potato sides were flavorful and zesty. No one element overpowered the dish, and they all complemented the others well.
• The Nit Pick: I wish the side salad was chopped to smaller and more even pieces, as it was a bit clunky to eat. I really enjoyed the lemon potatoes, but they could have used a minute or two under the broiler or in the sauté pan to add some life to the monotonous texture of the boiled potatoes.

Shrimp Kebab (Special)

• The Good Shit: This dish was identical to the Mana Platter except with kebabs of shrimp, onion, and bell pepper. The shrimp and vegetables were cooked perfectly with some great charring at the edges, which provided extra flavor and texture.
• The Nit Pick: Same nit picks as the Mana Platter above.

Other Menu Highlights:

Tableside Tzatziki ($15) – If you are willing to pay twice the price of the regular tzatziki dip, a bus boy in a Yankees cap will come to your table with a cartful of bowls and ingredients. He will then mix and stir while you take a video for your dumb Instagram page as your tablemate wipes the drool from the corners of your agape mouth.

Smokey Ribs ($37) – If you want to turn up the heat, the same bus buy will come back out wheeling a cart with two plates of spare ribs. He will then douse them in Metaxa cognac and set them afire until the flames die out, repeating this process until the next Ukraine aid package is announced. I watched this flambé show three or four times over the course of the meal, and the aroma was quite lovely.

The Verdict:

Besides my boneheaded lack of pictures, we’re off to a strong start at DannySnarfs. The staff was friendly, the dishes came out quickly, and the meal consisted of large portions of great food. I highly recommend Mana, and I am hoping to return in the near future. I promise to use my rating system judiciously, but Mana Greek Fusion earned its full 5 Plops.